Nasaan Ka Elisa?

Kung Against-The-Grain plots lang ang labanan, the "Grain" being the likes of Mara Clara, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin, Kung Tayo'y Magkakalayo, and those other teleseryes which got us all hooked by having strong, formulaic, tearjerker storylines, I'd have to put Nasaan Ka Elisa at the top of the pile.

So yes, I'm a teleserye addict :) That's why I know "Elisa" is something very unique. Everyone can be a suspect. Everyone could have done something wrong. Even the adored protagonist. But lest I digress from what the whole point of this post is, I'd have to say (singit to be more accurate :P) that the search for Elisa resembles each individual's search for something that's precious to them, something that will make their lives complete. Elusive, full of villains, one of which can be yourself as well - the search will indeed be difficult, even the goal can be questioned at the end if really worth it. But life always brings us cumulative discontentment every step of the way. If one does not start the search early on, Elisa can be all the more hard to find, even to the point of being impossible. 

But does that stop us from questioning: Nasaan Ka Elisa? No.

To stress, questioning and doing the actual search are 2 very different things. Not questioning at all is, can we say, faux and forced contentment... "Masaya na ko eh." "Wala na kong ibang gusto." "Sobrang kontento na ko sa buhay ko." These statements all scream of Weh? Di Nga? like tattered, fake Louis Vuitton bags. We all yearn for something more, and it's just natural, because we're all human.

I've actually been doing well in my current job. In just more than a year, I've been promoted to supervisor. In just a year after that, I'm already looking to apply for internal openings for a Manager position. Yet do I say with all my might, "Masaya na ko"? In certain contexts, yes, but there's always a hole in my life bigger than whatever accomplishments I may achieve can plug, something that always leads me to ask, Nasaan ka na ba talaga?

Elisa is just somewhere, waiting to be found. All I know is because life, as it has always proven itself to be, will not make the journey easy, Elisa will not come looking for me. She remains to be a damsel, locked up in a tower, guarded by a dragon, waiting for her sword-wielding prince to let her free, and whom she can set free also.

Or not. Who knows, Elisa can be a bitch with the alias: Smasher of Dreams.

Back

It has indeed been a very long time since I last updated this blog... Almost forgot about it, to be honest. But there are just some things that you go back to, especially in times of solitude, that are not dependent on willful decisions prior to revisiting, and doing again.

Writing.

Yeah, I know. Many people have already romanticized its cathartic effect on those who write, so much so that it has already become a cliche. But the mere fact that it has become cliche makes it all the more true - Words put out there, in the silence of cyberspace, with no promise of readership, still hold a value so dear to the author that each letter becomes a fragment of memory. Like sequential puzzle pieces that bring you back not only to that moment in front of your laptop, clicking on the buttons to compose something which you hope might make sense, but to the actual emotion conveyed by those words, back to the hard cement floor of the high school gymnasium, back to that nerdy, pockmarked face of that manager you hate, and back to that overwhelming feeling of revenge (which you're happy did not materialize into another SM mall shooting), that now induces overwhelming fits of laughter.

And going back feels like home, cuddling up to your favorite pillow, smiling.

With this, I write anew :)